Bungie’s New Game A Sci-Fi Shooter

Contracts. We all sign them when we want to join a football team or buy a yacht. However deep-dish developer Bungie have gone one step further and put pen to paper on a contract binding them with Activision to make visual videogame entertainment experiences until the heady days of 2020.

“I’d rather sign a contract binding me with the new Chickin’ McGrillin’ sandwich now available at all good McDonalds near you than sign anything with those guys. Coincidentally, the sandwich is crammed with flavour containing”, a spokeswoman went on to affirm.

Legal documents uncovered by the Lost Angeles Times detail that a new game codenamed ‘Destiny’ will be released for The Official Microsoft Xbox 360 Console in 2013 and possibly for next generation Xbox Entertainment Enforcing Consoles of next generation quality if they so happen to exist by the aforementioned time. The aforementioned time is 2013.  Playstation 3 and PC versions are also a possibility but only to be released at a later time in 2014. Whether this is Destiny’s destiny is yet to be destined.  

To make head or tails of the pertaining sheet of paper(s), we spoke to Jaylo Halo at Bungie to confirm the existence of the space videogame shooter: “We at Bungie are proud to announce our new videogame that will enthral all in the near future. At first, I suggested the name in the boardroom of Future Enthraller. Many frowned faces were a’pointing so I had to bring round the drinks for the rest of the day. I’m not going to make that mistake again. That’s what fuels us here at Bungie to make great games. Just because we stopped making Halos doesn’t mean you can start running rings around us.” When pushed for further precise exact detail of Bungie’s Destiny, lemonades were thrown in our general direction.

But what of the newly appointed universe that’s set to appear in the Activision endorsed and affiliated product?

“They need to build a world that’s going to last until all four games and expansions are out by 2020”, said one Halo ODST fan queuing outside a Gamestation that had closed down. “This reminds me of the story, the man who built his house on the sand. He built and built, very close to the shore. The water lapped by the bricks, solidifying the sand underneath creating a strong pillar for the house. My only concern is that Activision isn’t sandy. If I walk on Kottick’s face, what do I get between my toes? That’s something for Bungie to research. Hey why isn’t this store open, it’s half 12?”

Over everything else that is happening in the jam filled centre of the FPS donut, do Bungie look set to join that creative, sticky core? It’s certainly possible that they’ll even be competing with Respawn’s shooter.

“It’s like a dual lightsaber battle”, said one spokeswoman. “CoD and MoH do battle in the left hands and Respawn and Bungie fight in the other”. When we pressed EA for comment, they responded: “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. What do you mean what hand do I hold Medal of Honor in?”