Sci-Fi goes sky high and that’s no wry lie.
That was just one read-all-about-it newspaper headline from
this week, regarding Call of Duty rumours and the next title to be implicated
in the gun-fo-sho series.
“I’ve lost so much to gambling and so I wouldn’t bet on the
latest game being completely Sci-Fi”, said one spokesperson.
The Massively Multiplayer High Death Ratio Living Room game
series had at one time sold higher volumes than milk over the Holidays-a’-coming
software release window. But those milk showdown days have waned incrementally
in recent years as more people have become concerned with teat-stealing over
the action-based blood soaker special kill him more games.
“To predict these things is to predict your mother’s choice
of jammed marmalade in twenty years time”, affirmed Joey Killstreak, developer
at Activision. “As Shakespeare said, ‘You cannot predict the sun or the moon so
why start now’. When it comes to Call of Duty, we cherry pick the best ideas
from a cherry orchard that we have this guy Steve go around and write words on
all the cherries. I remember this one year I picked a cherry with Ghosts on it
and I immediately thought we need to get Derek Acorah in our game and that’s
exactly what we did and it was a plenty success. So you never know with these
things but I’m sure it’ll come out this year because these things can be so
regular like the sun and the moon. It’s actually not fun anymore.”
The highest grossing shooter of them all is also a sports
game in some people’s circles. A GAME spokeswoman clarified, “Sport shouldn’t
be something that involves controlling gunmen. It needs to include running and
kicking. That’s why I say to my kids, you run and you run and you never stop
running. But they do return actually so sport has failed me.”
This digital bullet blood gush game is called eSports when
played competitively on a massively multiplayer sadistic scale. A regular
player in the HaXxOr TECH YEAH CoD tournament every April and an owner of an
ice cream cart, Geoffrey Williams feels that the franchise could alienate a lot
of eSports compadres if the next game was a Sci-Fi. “I don’t see how anyone is
going to relate to that. That’s the genre with aliens in it, isn’t it? Yeah getting
a headshot on a creepy crawler but man size, that’s going to be weird. The last
few games have been different where you shoot robots and Kevin Spacey but
aliens don’t have the realistic tenacity of the common man. I don’t like the
idea but it’s not cause I wet myself when I saw Megamind.” Geoffrey shortly
afterwards coward under a table when some bright lights were seen in the sky in
the distance.
The Call of Duty series is set to light up the world in a
blaze of extreme wonder and joy and disenfranchisement when the next title is
released this year, at the end when all the games come out for the Santa’s Grot
Hole celebration.
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