Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Lost Planet 3 Leaked Online


A trailer to a Lost Planet sequel leaked online today before being taken down to displeasure from copious amounts of fans. 

“It’s a YouTube video too many” said one spokeswoman. 

The trailer portrayed the iconography that has been contained therein the Lost Planet franchise since ancient times, like mechs and giant insects. A few cheers were heard in some corners of the internet but those cries have vanished. Cobwebs lay there now. 

The trailer gushed forth details exclaiming its release date as 2013 on the Sony PlayStation 3 Computer Entertainment System and Microsoft Xbox 360 Explosive Entertainment Hub and that despised developer Spark Unlimited are working on it internally but also externally (box art). 

Canadian Developer Spark Unlimited worked on Call of Duty: Finest Hour from the last generation, which Joseph Joypad from http://www.christandy.webs.com described as, “Oh yeah, I played that game”. More recently they have worked on the much maligned Turning Point: Fall of Liberty and Legendary. Joseph Joypad commented saying, “I don’t want to talk about it”. 

One spokeswoman added: “It seems like Call of Duty: Finest Hour was Spark Unlimited’s last finest hour.”

The return to Lost Planet’s ice and snow setting could not stir excitement within many in the industry. Ricky Redring from http://www.christandy.webs.com told us, “Let me put it this way: I ordered a pizza for lunch and a lady mumbled ‘oooh’ in the background. When news of Lost Planet 3 leaked online, no one in the office made any noise of excitement, at all.” We were later told that the lady in the background had left after lunchtime as she had gone into labour. 

We contacted Capcom to respond to the online leak and Dominic Dante, UK PR lead at Capcom came back with, “It’s a sad day for us all here. The leak was forged, with a full announcement due soon but it has backfired rapidly, arms flailing as we go down to Chinatown. No one cares about us giving tired franchises to 5th rate Western developers. In an effort to save money, it’s losing us money, it’s losing us fans, it’s losing us hope but it’s only distilling fear. Fear that dwells so deep within that not even an old Silent Hill game could capture the emotion. You know, the decent ones”.

As the reception to the game has been woefully miniscule, those that rise above at Spark Unlimited are treated to Greggs. 

“We are giving Spark Unlimited an incentive to code better which I’ve called project: ‘Do a thing, win a pasty’. Dominic Dante could not spill information on how many pasties have been issued at present. 

“They probably owe pasties”, said one spokeswoman. 

As all focus shifts to more news on DmC: Devil May Cry and Resident Evil 6, no one can comprehend the seismic nothingness of this leak.

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