The presence of Dead Space 3 appearing on distributing shelves soon is ever more prophesised with evidence as an online retailer has made it available to pre-order the game.
“I’ve known less confirmation that my washing still exists on the line when I get home”, said one spokeswoman.
The craggy confirmation comes from BT Games who affirms that the publisher is 2K Games, eradiating horrendous blasphemy when EA has released all Dead Space entertainment video computer game products in the Dead Space experience franchise. Nevertheless, it sits on their site taunting, confusing, floating and thrusting.
We spoke to Liam Limbs, head of light darkening at Visceral Games saying, “Much like an alien popping out of a vent, Dead Space 3 hasn’t popped out of that vent. Dead Space 3 isn’t an alien. We don’t know how to care for an alien. I wouldn’t know where to begin and I would seek help. We don’t know of other life that we base our videogame on. We wouldn’t waste that knowledge. That knowledge of outer life. I just make the games and I go home at night. Don’t ask so many questions please.”
In a world where people are eager to break out their wallets, some claim that EA have gone far too long without answering the fans’ dreams and ultimately questions.
“I’ve been here a good few months now”, says Adam Hudless outside of Visceral Games studio. “It’s not right for them to be so clearly working on it and say not a peep. I smell really badly. They don’t do anything here. They keep wheeling out this table on wheels that has a sheet over it but I’m guessing a lot of people just pass out a lot. It’s that time of year. It’s also that time of beer.” Moments after, Adam soaked himself in a beverage from a flask.
As E3 looms on the horizon of events, it is no doubt no mystery that EA will confirm of Dead Space 3’s experience existence, many months after a video emerged online from a studio tour for an Israeli television company.
“Sometimes I take petrol from stations and drive off because saying you’re with an Israeli television company will help you”, established one spokeswoman.
We all wait with steady breath for EA to utter the sequel’s name on the corporation’s dry lips.
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