Skyrim Gets Kinect Support

In a free patch which is set to cost very little money, Bethesda is set to release Kinect support for Skyrim on the Microsoft Xbox 360 Entertainment Platform Hub in late April.

The patch will include additions to the game, exploiting fanciful capabilities the Microsoft Kinect hardware can only provide. Motion control isn’t added but over 200 voice commands are added and these additions will only add up. 

“I can now literally talk my way out of anything”, one spokeswoman claimed. 

We contacted Hardy Stormcloak, VP of textures at Bethesda and asked him to expand upon what was disclosed in the announcement trailer: “We did try to put motion controls in there but a hip thrust gesture glitched the game and it’s something that 90% of our testers did. So we assigned that action to ‘mount horse’ but many complained it wasn’t realistic. My wife also regularly questioned, ‘what are you doing to that horse’?”

He continued: “It came naturally how we focused on voice control instead”. “After Skyrim released, I was shouting a lot and I saw a newfound fear within all children around me. But one day, we was taking our shopping back to the car and I had an open bag of buns. These seagulls attacked us, trying to steal the warm, baked bread and I shouted ‘Fus Ro Dah’ and ‘Yol Toor Shul’ and a handful of other shouts available in the videogame entertainment experience. My wife told me to put it in my videogame while she handled the wild birds so I drove off and sent an email back to Bethesda and they gave me the thumbs up for Kinect voice control.”

Whilst many have voiced their appreciation for the slick, natural and unquiet patch that Bethesda bestows upon us, few have complained that the game’s vocals are offensive. 

Mary Northgate, a council member in the UK complained, “I think it’s disgraceful you can tell other characters in this computer game to ‘Get over there and stab them in the face’, or ‘Come here or I will stab you in the face’. These things should not be said aloud.”

We told Hardy Stormcloak about her statement and he replied: “No you can’t do that, she just made that up.”

As all who play the computer game heralded as Skyrim, the Bethesda stable are teaching you to talk to the game. Now it’s only a matter of time before the game talks back.